Besides Christmas, summer was my favorite time of the year when I was growing up.  I looked forward to our trips out of town and spending time with the rest of my family.  We were a brood of seven, which meant we had our own chores at home and our interests varied.  School schedules and assignments gave us very little time to spend with one another.  There were lots of times when pressure to finish homework and household chores would lead to conflicts between us.
 
But summertime was the time of the year when we left our conflicts behind and re-established our relationships.  Although my father was the only breadwinner in our family, he was very serious about his fatherhood role.  Family get-togethers were important to him.  He and my mother made plans for our vacation and, just like other small children, we would count the number of sleeps to go until our trip. I remember setting aside the clothes I planned to wear and the things I wanted to bring for the trip right after they told us we were going away—even if the actual outing was a couple of weeks away!  Thinking about it now, I can still feel the excitement I had during those days—there was a sense of family “belongingness” and solidarity as we did these things together.
 
It seemed natural, when I became a parent myself, to plan family outings especially during the summer season.  Little did I know then that my children’s joy in spending time with their family was a temporary phase in their life. The idea that there would come a time when they would have friends of their own and would choose to spend time with them instead of with me didn’t cross my mind.
 
Some people think family outings are not important. Others think they are just luxuries and only for people who have money to spare.  I have a cousin whose family never went on a family outing.  She told me that the only time they went out together as a family was to go to the wake of a relative, and still, not all of them would go.  She has many regrets and feels that she was deprived of a pleasant childhood memory.  She did not experience the excitement that family outings bring.
 
Year after year, my children’s final school exams were an indication that fun was just around the corner.  They could hardly wait for the school year to end so they could start their summer activities.  It was not all fun every day of summer. They were expected to help with household chores and learn new things that the school did not teach.  I believe that these compulsory activities made them appreciate the family outings even more.
 
Interestingly, our family outings were not always expensive.  Sometimes, it was just a picnic in a nearby park.  Often times, we would go to the Cultural Center, rent bicycles and bike around the park as a group.  My sister and her husband would lead the way, the children would follow them, and my other sister, her husband and I would make up the rear. Other times, we would drive to the bayside, sit by the bay and wait for the sun to rise.  There were also times when we would go for a day at a friend’s village clubhouse and do all sorts of things, bike, swim at the pool or play basketball.  When really pressed for time and budget we went to the mall and window shopped or else saw a movie and then grabbed a meal at a favorite fast-food chain store. 
 
Of course when we could afford it, we went out of town and stayed in hotels.  But it didn’t matter where we went.  What really mattered were the love and friendship that we developed with each other in a setting away from home. 
 
Now circumstances have changed and my daughters have all grown up.  Some have families of their own.  I don’t see them as often as I want to anymore but we all still remember our family outings.  We still giggle about our past adventures and the lessons we learned. 
 
Thinking about it now, the hard work I put into every activity, the time and money we spent, I have no regrets— only pleasure and happiness that once upon a time, we had these times together and we have created sweet, fun memories that will last a lifetime!

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...it means in all aspects of life. If your family is broken, it’s all useless.
Johnny and Annie Abarrientos
with Peter Banzon

Johnny Abarrientos plays guard in the PBA with 12 championship titles in His career. He is one of the few guards who has ever garnered an MVP award in the PBA. He has played for Alaska, Coke, and he is now with Barangay Ginebra which recently won the All Filipino PBA Championship.

How did you get started in your basketball career?
Johnny: “I was the youngest boy in a family of nine kids. I wanted to go to college at a good school but mama and papa couldn’t afford it. So I decided to get a basketball scholarship. When I got a good break, I started thinking that maybe basketball was the key to a good future, as well as a way to complete my college education.”

What has made life interesting for you as a PBA player?
Johnny: “At the beginning I had no plans of playing pro-basketball. Basketball was only a stepping stone for me to get a college degree. But now I am here in the PBA. God was the one who gave me the breaks. I was not overly confident as a player; people criticized my lack of height saying I wouldn’t make it in the PBA, because basketball is a game for giants. I proved to myself that if you have focus, and aim for your goals, with God nothing is impossible!”

You said God guided you in your career. How did you begin a personal relationship with God?
Johnny: “I grew up in a very religious Catholic family and my great grandfather was a protestant preacher. So every Sunday we would have a lot of religious activities. I even served as an altar boy in the church living on the church premises for 5 years. But I had a deep spiritual hunger. When I went to college some of my team mates were attending fellowship at the Victory, Maranatha. They invited me to join them in 1989. The Pastor didn’t know me but everything he said seemed directed towards me. That really amazed me.

“The next year I tried sharing what happened to me with my family. Initially my parents and siblings did not pay attention to me. But by God’s grace, one by one they gave their hearts to Christ. Now we are all joyfully serving God. Church attendance has become a joyful weekly reunion for us. We are challenged to live out what we learn in church in our everyday lives.”

What are some of the difficulties you go through as a PBA player?
Johnny: “A lot of intrigue comes our way. At the height of my career I suffered an MCL knee injury; in order to prevent futher aggravation, the sports doctor advised me to lose weight. My critics spread rumours that I was into illegal drugs; something that I had never done in my whole life. They equated my losing weight with drug addiction. For almost three years the issue persisted because of the press. Finally, I called for a PBA press conference to lay the issue to rest once and for all. I was tempted to sue them. My family gave me the support I needed to weather the storm.”

How long have you been married and how many children do you have?
Johnny: “I have been married for eleven years to Annie and we have 3 kids: one girl and 2 boys, Joann Clarice (12), John Angelo (9) and Jon Lennard (6).”

How does your schedule as a PBA player affect the family?
Johnny: “My wife Annie has to be up by 4 am to prepare breakfast for the kids. She takes them to school and as soon as she gets home we have breakfast together. Then I am off to basketball practice.

“One of the things that we have done consistently as a family is spend our evenings together. After school and after work, no matter how tired Annie and I are, evenings are bonding times for me and my kids. We eat dinner together and sleep together. When we have an off season break, I see to it that my family and I spend lots and lots of time together. I bring them out of town and take vacations with them.

I had a heart to heart talk with the kids and tried to explain to them that an active PBA player has commitments that he can’t back down on. It won’t always be like this. My career is coming to a close and then we can have a more normal schedule together.”

Is it important for you and Johnny to communicate every day?
Annie: “Very important! I want to know what happened to him during the day and I talk to him about what happened to me and the kids. I also remind him to give his kids the moral boost and encouragement they need.

When their dad speaks, the kids really listen. I am always around them so they get tired of me, but it is different with their Dad.

“We treasure the evenings when we are together. During weekends we try to go out as a family and most especially go to church as a family. I regret the Sundays when we can’t go to church because Johnny plays the first game and has to be with the team early. We know the value of being with the family of God. Our relationship with God is the most important relationship we will ever have.”

How do you deal with the temptations your job brings you?
Johnny: “There are really a lot of temptations, especially during our out of town games. Girls go out of their way to offer themselves to the players. Annie and I have a wonderful relationship because we have placed God in the center of that relationship. Whenever I leave the house I pray “Lord guide me. I will face different people today. Be with me as I interact with them. You know the right way that I should go.” This simple prayer has helped as I go to the basketball court to play or before I leave the Araneta Center. After the game I look forward being with Annie and my kids.”

Annie: “Trust is essential between a husband and wife. I don’t always get to watch John play. But my heart is with him. I always pray for the Lord to keep him away from temptation and that he will always keep me in his heart.“When he is stressed out, I give him my love and advice. One time he expressed his great hurt and disappointment with his former team Alaska on TV. He came home that evening after his team lost to Alaska. I told Him ‘Daddy, let it go, release it, it won’t help you.”

How important is it for you to give Johnny your 100% support?
Annie: “Very important! He really loves playing basketball. God gave that ability to him so that God could meet our family’s needs. I always ask God to guide and protect him whenever Johnny leaves for the game and when I watch His game on TV. When it’s a crucial game, I can’t stand the suspense—sometimes I even turn off the TV set! I’m the nervous type ( Laughs).”

How do you maintain your faith and testimony as a Christian when the other team seems to be keen on hurting you physically?
Johnny: “Honestly speaking… there is a temptation to retaliate. However, I know if I deliberately hurt another player, something’s wrong with me. That would not be consistent with the faith I profess. But, basketball is a physical game, and physical contact cannot be avoided.”

What I would you like people to remember when they think of Johnny Abarrientos and the PBA?
Johnny: “I want people to remember me as a person who did not allow success to go to his head. I want to be remembered as a humble person whose feet are still on the ground. I want to believe that after my basketball career is over they can still check me out as a person and see that what I say still matches what I do.”

Please comment on the statement: You may be successful in your career but if you fail in the home, you’re still a failure.
Johnny: “That’s so true! If your home is broken, your achievements in whatever field you are in, whether it be sports, the movies, or politics won’t matter. You must have God in your hearts and God in your home to insure strong relationships. Faith in God strengthens my home.”

Annie: “When you say success, it means success in all aspects of life. You may be successful in your career but in the home, if your family is broken, it’s all useless.”

How important is church attendance and participation to you?
Johhny: “To have a balanced life, to be insulated from the world’s system, I believe that the time we spend in church every Sunday is indispensable. When I miss Sunday service because of a game, Annie and I ask the Lord’s forgiveness. You know life is not life without Christ. It’s difficult to face life without God.”

What values would you like to pass on to your kids?
Annie: “We always remind the kids to make God number one in their lives. If they fear God, they will be obedient and disciplined. I want them to respect their elders, to be truthful and honest.”

Johnny: “The home is the first school of life. Whatever good we learned from our parents we pass it on to them. So that when they grow up, they will live out the values they learned. We grew up in happy, respectful homes; we want them to inherit that. We want them to realize that they won’t be successful if they don’t have a good relationshsip with God and with their family.”

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Many women these days are conscious about their health. They realize exercise is an essential part of maintaining an ideal weight. Some hit the gym; others chose a sport. Hopefully you, too, are trying to exercise regularly.

Whatever type of exercise you choose, remember to stretch out first! It is tempting to take a shortcut and skip stretching thinking it will save time. But, like any other machine, our body needs to warm up and cool down during an activity. Stretching helps prepare our muscles to exercise and to recover from a strenuous workout. Stretching enables our muscles to move freely during exercise, and to build more strength. Stretching also increases our range of motion by making muscles, tendons, and joints more flexible. If you do the right stretching activities, you will gain more benefit from your workout routine.

Fitness professionals encourage stretching. They say it is twice as important as any physical exercise. Stretching prevents muscle strain. Lack of flexibility will not only slow down progress, it can disrupt even the best-laid exercise routines. If you don’t stretch, the tendency is for your muscles to stiffen and be sore afterwards. In addition to flexibility, stretching also burns calories and helps us relax by slowly lowering heart rate after an activity.

Stretching can be as simple as bending and breathing. Do not tempt to speed the progress by stretching a little bit farther than is comfortably possible. Our muscles are equipped with a mechanism called stretch flex. This sensor will respond with a reflexive contraction when we stretch too far. It will shorten the muscle to protect it from overextending the joint. Stretch only to the point where you feel gentle tension, then stop and hold the stretch. Exercise as normal. When you’re done, cool down. Then spend another 5 to 10 minutes gently stretching the muscles before taking the shower.

Don’t bounce while you stretch. Pushing your muscles in short movements will tear them and cause injury. Keep your stretches slow and steady, holding each stretch 10 to 30 seconds. Do each stretch 2 to 4 times. Breathe deeply during stretches. You’re pushing too hard if you find yourself holding breath.

If you’ve just begun your exercise program, it is best to stretch each muscle group immediately after an activity in which you’ve used those muscles. If you are comfortable with your routine and never feel sore afterward, feel free to do all of your stretches at the end of your workout. You can also stretch without doing other exercises.

Remember, the best workout partner is stretching. It not only benefits physically, but also psychologically. It sends out a signal that make you feel less stressed out even when things are crazy. When stretching is properly done, it will make you feel good. So, what are you waiting for—Flex! www.prevention.com

Exercises
BACK PRESS Pose yourself in cat-like position, back straight, holding abdomen slightly firm with the spine in neutral position. Press your back upward tightening abdomen and buttocks muscles. Hold for 5 counts, and then return to starting position and hold for 5 counts. Do this 5 to 10 times to strengthen. CALF STRETCH Hold tightly to the back of a chair. Place both feet slightly apart, front leg bent, keep heel of the back foot on ground and lean forward for 20 to 30 seconds, and then switch sides.		DOUBLE LEG PULL Start by pulling bent legs up to your chest to stretch lower back. Count 1 to 5 and repeat 5 to 10 times. STRAIGHT LEG RAISE Start with one knee bent and one leg pulling knee up to chest. Extend the leg to stretch hips and hamstrings. Hold up to count of 5 and return to starting position with 10 repetitions and then switch legs. SINGLE LEG PULL Lie flat on your back with one leg bent and other leg extended. Bend your leg towards your chest to stretch lower back. Count 1 to 5 and repeat 5 to 10 times

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How does a person go “TNT”? The usual scenario is like this: a person applies for a temporary visa, such as a tourist visa, and then goes abroad, say, to the States. The visa expires, but the person never goes home! Instead, they look for work, go underground, and begin a life of hiding from the law and from deportation. This is known as “tago ng tago” or “TNT.”

Why does someone go TNT? They are desperate to go abroad and they decide that the legal channels are too expensive or too difficult to pursue. Several possible reasons that people want to leave are that they: may be dissatisfied with their present job or life situation; may want to pursue a better income or lifestyle; are trying to get away from someone in the home country; are looking for a more stable social-economic or political situation; are striving to follow in the footsteps of relatives already abroad. There are other reasons as well.

Whatever the motive may be, when legal procedures are followed, there is no problem in terms of violating a country’s laws. However, to willfully stay somewhere after your visa has expired, to go “TNT,” is to violate the laws of the host country. When the perpetrator is caught, the full weight of the law will descend on the offender. The common consequence is permanent expulsion from the country. “TNT” is not the correct option to choose because practicing “tago ng tago” is, in essence, disobeying a country’s proper authorities and its laws. A person of integrity who understands this, will not resort to “TNT” as a tactic for going and staying abroad.

What is the proper approach in terms of emigration? The obvious thing to do is go through the normal legal channels even if this takes a long time. If we take matters into our own hands and try to achieve our goal at all possible cost, ignoring the law for instance, we commit wrong.

However, “TNT” is often a symptom of a deeper problem— lack of contentment in life. The grass almost always looks greener on the other side of the fence. We should realize however, that sometimes our current situation is actually the better one. It is true that the average salary abroad is better than the one we receive in the Philippines. Nevertheless, Overseas Contract Workers who go abroad often have to work long hours in unfamiliar surroundings, away from old friends and comforts. At times, they may even need to take on several jobs just to make ends meet. In the Philippines, the pay may not be as high, but there is a warm support group of family and friends that make life’s bumpy roads easier to travel.

It is not wrong to want to emigrate when the reasons are noble, the situation allows it, and due process of law is followed. However, it isn’t quite right to want to emigrate because you feel chronically discontented. An unsatisfied person will never be content whatever their situation.

Learn to look at the bright side of everything that happens to you. No experience is so bad that we cannot learn from it. When we do, we become wiser, and that is something no one can ever take away from us. Contentment comes when we learn to be satisfied with what we have or even with what we do not have. Let’s stop comparing ourselves
with others.

Most of us typically look to clothes, accessories, gadgets, property, recreation, leisure, relationships, marriage or even emigration as the things that will make us happy. This is because we see matters through the limited vision of our human perspective. But there is a Creator who made us and He meant for us to happy and satisfied. This happiness becomes possible and real the more we draw close to Him. When we do so, in time, we will realize that true contentment is not far behind. Let’s give “TNT” a new meaning. Instead of “tago ng tago” let “TNT” stand for Take n’ Trust the promises of God!

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by Peter Banzon

Q: How do I encourage my husband to help me plan and take part in fun family activities?

A: I think this question fits me to a tee because I am a husband who needs to be prodded to plan and participate in fun family activities. Summer is here; it is a great time for the family to bond, to have fun, to play games. Everyone seems to be excited except the man of the house. Some of us guys seem to be active in many pursuits but passive when it comes to planning fun. Not that we think it is a waste of time. But simply because we have not fully realized the impact it has on the whole family.

Fun times help create memories.
My lasting memories of my family consist of remembering the times we went to Baguio, or Pagsanjan Falls. I learned how to ride a bike because my dad took me to a biking stadium in Baguio. My own daughter always thinks fondly of the things we did during our vacations.

Fun activities strengthen bonds between parents and kids.
Life seems to be so hectic, parents and kids only see each other briefly during the evening. Even dining together seems to be an elusive activity. So, fun times can help families get into the groove, gel, and bond. When people are relaxed they are more open to each other.

Successfully planned fun times lead to more in the future.
It’s good practice to copy success. So when a fun time is successful, families will want to do it again. More fun times, more bonding, will result in closer family ties.

The husband is the head of the family; he is the leader and is supposed to lead…even when it comes to fun aspects of life. So how do you encourage your husband to take the lead and participate?

Don’t nag him into doing it. The worse thing you can do is nag him to death or make him feel guilty. That will only cause him to shy away from participating.

Ask him to plan the aspect of the activity that he enjoys the most. Don’t expect him to do everything. Think about the aspects of the activity that he will enjoy the most. Maybe he was formerly a boy scout and would enjoy setting up tents. Probably he enjoys grilling barbecue or sea food so, let him be the menu expert. Is he is an organizer? Encourage him to set up the itinerary for the vacation. Is he a photography enthusiast? Let him take care of documenting the whole thing.

Affirm his role in the success of the activity in the presence of the whole family.
Men desire affirmation. They need to know that their wives are proud of them. Before the activity ends, you need to affirm him in front of your kids. Guess who will take the lead the next time summer comes or there is an opportunity to take time out for fun?

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