MOMS
Volume 5 / Issue 18 /
2010 • Published quarterly by APMedia
Untitled Document
From My Heart
by Kim Snider, editor
Dear Readers,
This year, we have decided to focus on different family members in each issue of MOMS building the best families. Our January issue was on Teens, and our April issue was on Dads. This time we are focusing on the grandmas and grandpas in our lives.
Getting older gracefully takes talent and hard work. As I watch my father approach his 83rd birthday, and also as I begin to deal with my own aches and pains, I am constantly praying that Jesus will help me to this ??age-thing? well. As I told my dad, ??God MUST have a plan for this part of our lives.?
We hope that the articles in this issue will give you some new ideas for caring for the older people in your family, and in your circle of friends, and also for growing older gracefully yourself.
Reader??s Letters
Dear Sister Kim,
Dear Kim & the rest of APMM staffs,
Thank you so much for all your concerted efforts in bringing MOMS into publication. We really enjoy reading every article and stuffs that you put in MOMS. It really feeds our spirit with enlightenment.
Kindly accept my share for the ministry. Regards!
God bless, SIS. MARGARITA AVENA
Good day!
You help a lot of people through your Moms magazine write ups...I??m one of those people. God bless you always! Have a great day ahead!
RHIZALIE
We want to ??be here? for you!
Do you have topics you want us to feature?
Write to: MOMS c/o APMedia, PO Box 13800, Ortigas
Center, Pasig City
OR Email: moms@apmedia.org
This publication has no subscription or newsstand price. We distribute 35,000 copies each quarter for free. MOMS is supported completely through contributions. If you would like to make a donation to help produce/ distribute MOMS, it will be greatly appreciated. Your dona- tion will be used entirely for the continued outreach of this publication. You can send cash or check made payable to: Asia Pacific Media Ministries FAO MOMS
I Call My Grandmother, Mama
by Leesha A. Garcia
Grandmothers can be important role models for the whole family. Here is one grandma??s story...
I call my grandmother, ??Mama.? Mama and I have a very special bond because I am her first grandchild, and it turns out, the only girl. Mama is such a good cook. She cooks my favorite dish Sinigang. My stomach is never empty whenever I am in Mama??s house and my taste buds are always satisfied. Mama is a very good storyteller, too. I remember her telling me the story of Bing Butiki every night before I went to sleep when I was a little girl. I used to stay at Mama??s house every weekend and when I had to go home to our house, I cried every single time. Mama was the one I wanted to play with every day even if I missed school. Her house was home to me.
Just two weeks ago, we found out that Mama needed gall bladder surgery immediately. We were worried at first because we knew we would need a large amount of money for the operation but more than that, we were worried about how Mama felt about it, whether she was afraid or nervous about what she would have to undergo.
I saw how Mama took everything the doctor told her. She was very confident and brave, sure that she was going to be all right throughout the whole procedure. We were more nervous than she was. I remember my mom telling us that her hands were shaking and that she was so scared when she accompanied Mama to the operating room. She said that Mama was very relaxed and that Mama told her that there was nothing to be afraid of and that the Lord would be with her inside the operating room.
During my frequent visits to the hospital, I noticed how kind and accommodating the doctors and nurses were to Mama. From the surgeon to the utility men, all were very polite and efficient in everything they did. Mama, being a very keen observer, appreciated everything they did and had nothing but praises for them. Mama??s confinement in the hospital was somehow a blessing in disguise. Everyone who visited Mama had smiles on their faces whenever they left Mama??s room. There was joy and laughter in the room every time we gathered around Mama??s bed. It was then that I found out that Mama had a weird sense of humour. Now I know where I got mine!
This whole experience taught me many things. It showed me how strong my Mama was and how beautiful she is in every sense of the word. I saw how my mom and my uncles lovingly attended to her every need and realized how well she had brought up each one of them. I also realized how blessed I am to be part of her family, our family and how fortunate I am to be her only granddaughter. I was amazed at how Mama is blessed with good doctors and nurses and how she was given every possible hospital bill discount she could avail of. Even though we did not have much money, we were able to pay the hospital bills and take Mama home. We even had enough money left for Mama??s medicines and Mama??s food.
I have experienced how faithful the Lord is to our family even at my young age. He is always there providing for our every need may it be spiritual, physical or financial. Though at times I have doubts, I have learned to trust in the Lord and follow His directions because I know that He has wonders in store for me and for my family and that, He has nothing but the best for us. Just like my grandmother says, I know the Lord will be with us.
Last week my friend said to me, ??I glanced in the mirror and I thought, ??Wow, I look exactly like a lola. When did I get so old????
I know what she means. Just a year ago our second little grandson was born. Amidst all the joy and delight of that occasion I marveled at how fast my life had gone. I remember my very own grandmother??reading me stories and helping me build a dollhouse. It seems like yesterday. How could I be old enough to be a grandma myself?
Whether we can believe our age or not, getting older is a part of life, and, it is a stage of life in which I want to excel. I do not want to be lazy or overly concerned about myself. I want to be kind, happy, adventurous, wise and helpful to others. So, I prayed that God would send people into my life who are getting old gracefully. I need role models.
The first role model that God sent me is a lovely lady named Dorothy. She is 75 years old and has lovely white hair and a beautiful smile. She is not wealthy. Her beloved husband died 15 years ago. Both of her daughters are single. She has no grandchildren. She still works hard as a nurse three days a week. In some ways Dorothy has the right to feel sorry for herself, but instead, she is full of joy. What is the secret of her happiness?
Here is what I observed. Early in the morning Dorothy is on the phone counseling friends and praying with people. She can hardly wait to get to work to check on her patients and see how she can help them. She takes a very active part in her church. She goes to many social events and enjoys them with her whole heart. Every night when she gets home she tells me how wonderfully God has taken care of her that day.
The secret of Dorothy??s happiness is gratitude. She gives thanks continually. As she expresses her gratitude, she becomes certain that God loves her and that He has a plan for her. She wakes up every morning sure that God has something special for her to do that day?and she does it! She stays active, useful, and grateful. That is what keeps her happy.
??Lord, don??t let it be Cancer!? One Woman??s Journey of Faith
by Eleanor Bercero as told to Kimberly Snider
Eleanor Bercero has been married to her pastor husband Felipe for 37 years. She is a mother of 4, a grandmother of 3, and a full time college teacher and administrator. Energetic, and busy with many things, she didn??t worry much about her health until one day last October...
Eleanor, the past few months have been difficult ones for you because you have been fighting a battle with breast cancer. How did you find out that you had cancer?
??My annual physical was due last October. I was dreading it because, although I didn??t have the courage to admit it to anyone, I had discovered a lump in my breast. After the usual examination, my doctor ordered some tests. My doctor explained that the lump on my right breast should be removed as soon as possible. For two months after my doctor??s visit, I tried to deny that the lump existed. For two months I prayed and prayed and begged God to change what I knew was happening in my body.
??Finally in January, I went back to the clinic. The surgeon gently broke the news that I would have to
undergo surgery.?
Can you remember how that made you feel?
??I was devastated; it seemed that my heart dropped into the pit of my stomach. Shocked and numb, I could hardly think straight. At home, I prayed, ??Lord, don??tlet it be cancer!? I could not sleep. I lost my appetite to
eat, and I couldn??t think straight. I reasoned with the Lord telling Him that I did not deserve to have cancer. After all, I had followed Him all my life. I grew up as a pastor??s kid. After marriage I worked hard as a pastor??s wife and made a lot of sacrifices. In my mind I thought I was too good to be punished with this dreaded disease.?
Friends tell me that sometimes people are reluctant to tell their friends and family about cancer because, when we tell people, it suddenly becomes real.
??In my case, I told my husband not to let anyone know about my illness except a few friends and relatives. But, as you know in the Philippines when you tell someone ??atin-atin lang ito, huwag sabihin sa iba, ha,? the news spreads like a wild fire. Soon, whether I liked it or not, my private war with fear and cancer became international news.
??I realize now that this sharing of my problem turned out to be a good thing, because many many people started to pray for me. They began to send me money to help me with medical expenses. ??Of course, I had to break the news to my children and comfort them at the same time. I longed to see all my children and grandchildren, in case I did not have much time to live.?
How did you deal with your fear?
??Right after my diagnosis, doubt, anxiety, the fear of possible death haunted me even in my sleep. Will I survive the operation? I wondered. How will I look with only one breast left? Will I still feel attractive? Will I still be a whole person? How will others look at me? I used to be the strong one who helped others, especially women, overcome their uncertainties. Now, my pride and low self-esteem caused me to burst into tears ofdespair and humiliation. I tried to tell myself that it didn??t matter, but inside I begged in anguish, ??You are God, You perform miracles. Surely you can do one for me now. Please Lord.??
Was money for treatment a problem?
??When I checked our savings to see how much was there to pay my hospitalization, there was not much to withdraw. PhilHealth Insurance would pay part of the bill but not all. Panic set in. I tried to remember who had borrowed money from me and I intended to ??singil? them without explaining what I needed it for. ??God,? I cried, ??I used to solicit help for needy people, and here I am, and no one is helping me.? It didn??t
seem fair.
??I tried to get a loan. The Social Security System did approve a loan but it was not enough for all the bills that I had to pay. I was at the end of the line??I did not know what else to do. At this point, I decided to humble myself before the Lord and give Him my life again. ??Lord, I have struggled enough. Please take away my despair and please give me peace.? I felt the heaviness lift from me. I began to shiver and cry and the more I cried, the more burdens departed from my heart until I was exhausted. I slept very soundly for the first time in many weeks.?
Tell me about the surgery.
??Before they wheeled me to the operating room, my husband and I prayed. Moments later, I found myself in a white tiled room with brilliant lights and monstrous looking equipment. A lot of people were moving around
preparing for my surgery. I was helpless.
??I was cold. Someone strapped my arms down and a mask was placed over my nose. I began to drift away.
??When I woke up, my body was numb and I could move my right arm but I was conscious that I was already in my hospital room. My husband looked anxious and panicky. Every single day in the hospital was a challenge to overcome the pain. Friends, members of the church and relatives brought in flowers and gifts expressing their love and concern and many of them told me that they were praying for me. Our church gave a special offering to help me, and many others contributed big and small amounts of money.?
Bercero Family
And you are having chemotherapy now?
??Yes, my surgeons referred me to an oncologist who tried to explain that I needed to undergo chemotherapy. The fear in my heart shut my ears to what was being said by the oncologist. Finally a friend wrote me about her son??s experience with chemotherapy. What she was talking about made sense and I started to accept that it was necessary to ensure my recovery. Three weeks after my surgery, I went back to the hospital and received the first dose of chemotherapy.?
Did the chemo make you sick?
??It was two days after that I felt nauseated and dizzy. I felt like I had flu. I couldn??t sleep. My mind told me that I was dying, that I was losing my sanity and I would be good for nothing. I remembered my friend??s warning. ??Be a fighter! Be strong.? I tried to say the name ??Jesus, Jesus, Jesus? and I started to plead the power of His blood over me. My husband was quick to offer help and his prayers over me made me calm down.?
Did your hair fall out?
??One morning I took a bath and dried my hair with a towel. I was surprised that the towel I used to dry my hair caught hundreds and then thousands of strands of hair. I was disappointed that the Lord didn??t spare
my hair! I was shivering with fear as I called my husband. He did not show any emotion. Instead, he got a pair of scissors, and he got a chair for me, and then he started to cut every hair that was left. When he finished, he told me that I looked like my father. I told him that I am prettier than my father. And we laughed and laughed after that!?
You are having chemo, correct? What is your life like now?
??When I recover strength, usually ten days or so after a Chemotherapy session, I find more time to pray and read my Bible. I download my e-mails when I feel good. I discipline myself to rest. I eat foods that are colorful and full of vitamins, protein and minerals. I take a dose of multivitamins daily. I am about to have my third dose of chemotherapy and am finding God??s grace sufficient in every hard road that I have tread.?
What do you see for your future?
??I will to recover and live the changes that have taken place in my life. I am determined to seek the good in what has happened and make the best of the worst situation. I choose as far as I am able to live one day at a time, to face everyday with faith and courage whatever God will lead me into. I will believe His Word in Jeremiah 29:11, ??For I know the plans I have for you,? declares the Lord, ??plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future???
If you could tell 35,000 women who read MOMS anything, what would you say?
??First, get connected to the Source of Life, the Ultimate Great God. He is helping me triumph over the destructive effects of this disease.
??Second, realize that God uses doctors by giving them wisdom and knowledge to advise us. ??Third, practice monthly breast self-examinations and have a yearly check up.
??Finally, if you find a lump, do not delay and experiment with scientifically unproven medicines and methods. Consult the doctor as soon as possible.?
What have you learned through this experience?
??I learned to slow down and rest regularly. Now, I take the time to ??smell the roses along the way? and enjoy them while I can. I am thankful everyday for my dear life.
??My family is precious, and I should not take them for granted. Their love and support expressed in action during my illness did so much to heal my emotional pain.
??God did allow brokenness in my life so that I could experience His transforming power and His grace. I found that in the midst of turmoil, uncertainty, pain and loss, God gave me peace and hope that seemed impossible.?
All of us know women who have had breast cancer. And, although it is always frightening to get this diagnosis, the facts are??more and more women are beating the disease and getting well. There are more options for treatment than ever before.
Breast cancer is a cancer that forms in the tissues of the breast, usually the ducts (tubes that carry milk to the nipple) and lobules (glands that make milk). It occurs in both men and women, although male breast cancer is rare. The Mayo clinic website (www.mayoclinic.com/health/breast cancer) says that:
In breast cancer, some of the cells in your breast begin growing abnormally. These cells divide more rapidly than healthy cells do and may spread (metastasize) through your breast, to your lymph nodes or to other parts of your body. The most common type of breast cancer begins in the milk-producing ducts, but cancer may also begin in the lobules or in other breast tissue. In most cases, it isn??t clear what causes normal breast cells to become cancerous. Doctors do know that only 5 percent to 10 percent of breast cancers are inherited.
While no one knows for sure what causes breast cancer, researchers are coming up with more accurate theories all the time. If you want to know more about this, check the Internet. The purpose of this article, however, is to urge all our readers to be pro-active about their health.
It is very important that every woman: Do a self examination of your breast every month. If you don??t know how to do this, ask your doctor.
Have a yearly check up with a gynecologist and specifically ask your doctor to check on breast health. Doctors may recommend a mammogram, if they do, have one.
When older people live with us, we need to provide for their special mobility needs. Here are some suggestions to make your home into a handicap-friendly environment:
We suggest a wide doorway opening for the main entrance, bedroom, and toilet of a house or apartment. Wider doorways provide easier access for wheelchairs and orthopedic walking braces. Also leave as much clear floor space around the doorway as you can. To make a 180 degree turn with a wheel chair, you need at least 60" in diameter. For a Tshaped hallway, a turning space with aisles 36" wide allowing a three-point turn is also acceptable.
If you are designing a kitchen that older people will use, instead of installing cabinets under the sink and countertop, leave space so that people can sit down and put their legs under the counter or sink. Narrow shelving provides easier access for older people. Open floor space is favorable for wheelchair maneuverability. Non-skid or matte finish floor tile helps keep the floor from becoming slippery. Avoid using sharp edges to prevent unnecessary accidents if someone should fall. Locate laundry facilities close to kitchen.
In the CR there is always room to install a grab bar. It can help older people by providing stability when stepping in and out of the shower area, and sitting down on the toilet. The longer a grab bar, the better. Make sure the one you bought is at least 1-1/2" in diameter. It should hold up to 250 pounds??body weight and the force applied to the bar. Make sure you don??t anchor the bar to drywall, as this will not hold and a person can be seriously injured if the bar comes off while they are holding it. A grab bar should have 1-1/2" of clearance from the wall. Horizontal grab bars offer better leverage for a bathtub or getting up and down from toilet seat. Install the bar 33" to 36" above the finished floor around the toilet.
If you are an Internet user, there are some wonderful articles on health tips for older adults. We were especially interested in the information found on this site: http://www.finewaters.com/Good_Hydration.asp concerning health problems in older adults that are a result of not drinking enough water.
Experts agree that older adults don??t feel thirsty as often as younger people. If older people only drink when they are thirsty, they do not get enough fluids. We need to encourage older adults to drink, even when they are not thirsty. Constipation is one side effect for older people who do not drink enough water. Here are some tips to help older adults??and the rest of us as well?? keep hydrated:
Drink plenty of water and juice at meals and between.
Avoid coffee, tea, and sodas with caffeine.
Have more soups at meals.
Replace lost fluids after vomiting or diarrhea.
Keep a glass of water to drink while watching TV or relaxing.
Drink plenty of extra fluids after getting even mild exercise.
Keep informed about medications that might cause water loss.
De-hydration Drink
Combine:
1 liter of boiled water
2 level tablespoons of sugar or honey
1/4 teaspoon of salt
1/4 teaspoon of baking soda (or additional 1/4 teaspoon
salt)
Optional 1/2 cup orange juice or coconut water or mashed
ripe banana
Before giving the drink taste it and make
sure it is no more salty than tears. Give a sip every 5
minutes day and night until the person urinates normally.
A large person will require 3 or more liters a day. A small
person (or child) needs 1 or more liter a day or one glass
for each watery stool.
Taking care
of someone else is hard work. Usually sick people are grouchy.
They don??t want you to take care of them because they want
to take care of themselves?and they can??t. So, they are not always kind.
Taking care of someone else can make you feel like a failure.
When I try to be with family members who are sick??I want
to make them feel better and I want to make them happy. Usually,
I can??t ??fix? their problem no matter how hard
I want to. Often, I feel as if I had failed them.
Finally, taking care of someone else makes you remember that
someday you too, might be in the same situation. It can be depressing.
The prayer included with this article helped me and my sister
a lot while we were caring for our mother. It helped us to keep
things in perspective. This prayer is often used by Alcholics
Anonymous members. We thought this prayer might be helpful to
you, too.
Clouds, pure and white like snow,
Restless wanders about the sky,
God made them rise from the ends of the earth,
To roam around the great expanse.
They gather together forming mountains,
They fly with the wind when dispersing,
And when they disappear,
They serve as the chariots of Angels.
Editorial note??Ms. Erlinda??s lovely poems arrived the very day I was preparing this page. I felt like her essay on becoming 70 was a special message from God to some of you. This is a unique occurrence??it has never happened in the history of MOMS. So??pay attention to what she says! ?
God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.
I turned seventy years old last June 10, 2007. The feelings I had??well I am not sure if they were feelings of happiness or feelings of sorrow. This verse reminded me of how good the Lord is:
??Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you.? - Isaiah 46:4
Being in the seventies of life on Earth, one cannot help thinking about death and cannot deny being in fear and sadness sometimes. But there is the assurance that God is there for us to call on anytime in prayer to erase the fear in our hearts. Call on God. He will comfort us. His peace is abundant.
Q: "It seems like my grandparents are always getting their feelings hurt. How can I cope with this?"
A: Why are our grandparents so sensitive and their feelings are easily hurt? There are many factors that may contribute to this problem. They may have limited mobility. Food may not taste right because of health problems. They may have poor vision and hearing. Their memory is faltering. All of this may cause grandparents to be more emotional and not respond well to situations.
The Bible commands us to honor our father and mother (Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:2-3) and by extension, your grandparents. Part of honoring them is to show patience when they express hurt even when they seem unreasoble. When we honor our grandparents and old people for that matter, it pleases God. Here are some things you can do.
Put yourself in their shoes. When you are younger, it is difficult to put yourself in the shoes of an older persons, but make a sincere effort to see things the ways they do.
Ask God to help you. God can give you the strength to love unconditionally.
Talk to your parents. Sometimes, you need to talk to your parents to let out some of your frustrations with your grandparents. Talking helps release some of the pressures.
Consider it a privilege. Not everyone has the privilege of having grandparents around. Enjoy them, let go of the times they are over sensitive. Consider them blessing and not a burden.
Admit you have sinned."For all have sinned & fall short of the glory of God." Romans 3:23
Believe in Jesus."For God so loved the world that He gave His one & only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life." John 3:16
Confess and leave your sin behind."If we confess our sins, He is faithful, and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9
To continue growing in your relationship with Christ Have fellowship with other believers.
Read the Bible.
Pray.
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Dear Readers,
Grandmothers can be important role models for the whole family. Here is one grandma??s story...
Eleanor Bercero has been married to her pastor husband Felipe for 37 years. She is a mother of 4, a grandmother of 3, and a full time college teacher and administrator. Energetic, and busy with many things, she didn??t worry much about her health until one day last October...
And you are having chemotherapy now?
When older people live with us, we need to provide for their special mobility needs. Here are some suggestions to make your home into a handicap-friendly environment:
Q: "It seems like my grandparents are always getting their feelings hurt. How can I cope with this?"
