She was a young professional with a stable job, and had a promising future.  She had been in a long distance relationship for 5 years.  Life seemed perfect, until one mistake brought her world to a halt, and everything suddenly changed.

Angelika (not her real name) came to Manila after finishing her degree in the province and tried pursuing her dream â?? a career and a family of her own.  She met her ideal man, but unfortunately their jobs separated them.  She found work in Manila, while he was employed overseas.

LJ is an announcer-producer  for DZAS. In this role, she gets to hear many inspiring stories

Because of the distance, and unmet needs, Angelika began to spend a lot of time with another male friend.  They got too close to each other, too comfortable.  One thing led to another, and the unexpected happened.  She found out she was carrying her first child.  â??I was so confused and angry.  I was in denial and ashamed.  I didnâ??t know what to do. When I learned about the pregnancy, my first thought was that I had to have an abortion,â?�  said Angelika.  â??Although I was in my 30â??s and it was my dream to have my own kids, this pregnancy happened way too soon and with the wrong man.

 

â??When I told the father of my baby about my pregnancy and my plan to abort, surprisingly, he supported my decision.  He even volunteered to buy the medicine and things that I needed to get rid of the baby.  But, when I finally got the courage to talk to my mother who is a devout Catholic, she made me realize that another mistake, an abortion, would not solve m problem.  Along with the advice from my mother, I got guidance from a Christian radio station that was recommended to me by one of my friends.

 

â??Even if it was a difficult decision I kept the baby, minus the father.  Although the guyâ??s family wanted us to get married, I knew it wouldnâ??t work.  I wasnâ??t ready, and he wasnâ??t either.  He didnâ??t have a job and he wasnâ??t â??husband material.â??  I also had to come clean with my boyfriend of five years about my pregnancy.  Even though he wanted to continue the relationship in spite of what happened, we eventually grew apart and we had to break-up.

â??Now, Iâ??m a reluctant single Mom.  I gave birth to a healthy baby boy whoâ??s temporarily in the province with my mother, while I try to make a living here in Manila.  Itâ??s hard being away from my son, but itâ??s just one of the many sacrifices and responsibilities that I now have to face.  I do try to spend as much time as possible with him.

 

â??Iâ??m thankful my mother was there to correct and help me, but I know I hurt and disappointed her.  I especially hurt and disappointed the Lord.  It was a painful learning experience.  I will always regret entertaining the thought of terminating my pregnancy then.  I knew pre-marital sex would not do me any good, but the stubborn, overly confident me disregarded all warnings and dove in. Now, Iâ??m suffering the consequences of my actions.  It was a mistake sleeping with a man outside of marriage.  It was a mistake being unfaithful to my boyfriend.

 

â??Certainly, I donâ??t want you to go down the same path Iâ??ve taken, thatâ??s why Iâ??m sharing this difficult phase in my life.  However, if you do find yourself in the same situation I was in, I want you to know that abortion is never an answer to your problem.  I know itâ??s not
easy to be responsible for another life; sins will always have consequences, but we have a gracious, forgiving God who will be our partner and provider as we try to start and re-build a new life with our child.

â??One of my functions is raising capital for the company and our subsidiaries and managing our capital, monitoring the money, seeing how it is spent.

Mr. Sebastian has been married for 17 years. Their family is blessed with two boys, 14 and 9, and a little girl of 2.

 

â?�How does your faith affect your professional life?
â??I learned from scripture very early on this journey in my professional life, that God does not divide our life into two parts, sacred and secular.  Everything, to God, is sacred.  My work is really part of my worship.  When youâ??re at work and youâ??re dealing with people, and youâ??re trying to do the right thing, obeying God, trying to work excellently, you represent Him.  Whenever thereâ??s a situation where ethical issues arise, you should always try to decide in His favor.â?�

Since you handle a great deal of money, you are probably asked to do things that are unethical sometimes. How do you handle this?
â??The way that Iâ??ve handled it in the past is that I disclose to my colleagues that I am a student of the Bible, I am a man of faith, and that my faith is very important to me.â?�

How long do you wait before you tell people this?
â??Iâ??m usually upfront about it, not in a bragging kind of way but sometimes it does come up.  Normally it comes up when thereâ??s an ethical issue.  Thatâ??s when I say,  â??Boss, you know Iâ??m a man of faith and this is very important to me. This violates my conviction and I canâ??t do this.â??â?�

 

â??Threatened. Not fired.â?�

Have you ever backed down?
â??Not on black and white issues.  Sometimes there are gray issues, things that Iâ??m still struggling with not knowing if they are really wrong, and while Iâ??m thinking,   I kind of default into deciding.  It just happens.  So maybe thatâ??s backing down.  Frankly, in those instances, I come before God and say, â??Lord, if that is a sin, please forgive me.â??

 

"There are times when things are not really black and white; they are in different shades of gray.  Thatâ??s when I try to listen to my heart and to the leading of the Holy Spirit.  Thatâ??s where what I read in the Scriptures becomes alive, and I try to apply it to my situation.

â??Scriptureâ??s not always specific to an application, and so I have to think of the principle and see whether this is part of that.  Itâ??s not always clearâ?Š so during those times, I donâ??t know, maybe some of those things fall through the cracks.  But when something is black and white and I already have a set conviction about something, then I donâ??t think I really step back.  There have been times when I have said, â??Boss, I disagree with this, please put it on record that I disagree with this, and if you want to do it, you have power over me, so you can overrule me.â??â?�

If youâ??re not sure whatâ??s right or wrong, is there anybody that you ask?
â??Yes, my dad. My dadâ??s a pastor, and so I ask him.  Also,  I have a few other men who are like mentors to me, and a pastor friend of mine is my accountability partner.  I give him a call and I relate my situation and then I ask him.â?�

How important is it to have an accountability partner?
â??Itâ??s absolutely crucial. Sometimes, it really hurts. Your mentor may say things to you that can be very offensive, very unpleasant, but meaningful.â?�

 

How can people find the right person to talk to?
â??Itâ??s always good to find someone in your church, maybe someone in your cell or your small group who can be your accountability partner. One of the things that is kind of disappearing from the Christian church now and this is really sad, is one on one discipling.â?�

He is presently the Corporate Planning Director for JG Summit Holdings, Inc., a former chief corporate strategist for PSI technologies, former chief planning officer for RFM corporation, past Director of planning, Department of Trade and Industry, faculty member of ATS MBA program...

Sometimes people feel undue pressure from their barkada or workmates to participate in things.  Not everyone can work in a Christian office. How should people deal with that pressure?
â??There is pressure.  It is strong.  I guess in my case, what is really considered a weakness in my personality kind of helps me with that kind of pressure.  Iâ??m what you might call â??anti-social.â?�  Itâ??s not that I am not friendly or I donâ??t have friends.  I do have friends, but I donâ??t get very close to them in the office setting.  Maybe a better word is aloof.  Itâ??s really a bad trait in a way, but I think the aloofness helps shield me from the pressure to try to belong, pakikisama.  But, there is still some of that pressure, even for somebody who is aloof like me.â?�

How should someone who is both Christian and Filipino look at pakikisama?
â??Pakikisama is good in that Filipinos understand instinctively the value of community which is very important in church life.  At the same time, pakikisama can be used negatively.  The Bible speaks about â??separateness.â?? There is a certain separateness that we are supposed to follow and thatâ??s counter-cultural, thatâ??s against pakikisama.  Thatâ??s where you break that pakikisama thing because obviously, being a citizen of heaven is more important than being a citizen of the Philippines.â?�

Lots of people donâ??t want their families to suffer. How far should you go in obedience to the Lord when it is against what your boss wants?
â??We should remember that we are first and foremost disciples of Jesus Christ. Thatâ??s who we are. So

and an economist for 28 years, Mr. Sebastian is also a Senior Pastor at Greenhills Christian Fellowship

anything that violates that, violates who we are.  Obedience to His commandments is a very integral part of our relationship with Jesus Christ. 1 John 2:3 says, â??We know that we have come to know Him if we obey His commands.â??  So how far do you go?  You go to the max.  You try to obey as much as you can.

â??Frankly, if you really obey Christ, it will get you into trouble many times!  In my own experience, I have been passed over for promotions, and I donâ??t get certain opportunities.  I could probably make more money working for this or that company but I canâ??t work for them because I know that companyâ??s values.  I know that my values will clash with theirs, and that limits my career opportunities.  Like I said, my job tenure has been threatened because of some of the things that Iâ??ve done.  When you take a stand for the Lord, thatâ??s a necessary evil.  But, one thing that Iâ??ve always believed, if obedience to God gets you into trouble, God will get you out of it; He will take care of you.  Itâ??s always good to have that mindset because I donâ??t trust in my job.  I donâ??t trust in my bank account.  I trust in God. So, in the end, itâ??s a matter of faith.

 

â??Another thing is this, Iâ??ve always prayed to God, â??Lord, will you make me very selective in my choice of

B.J. Sebastian holds a BA in economics from UP, an MA in Business Management from AIM, and is a candidate for the Mastersâ?? in Divinity from ATS.

jobs? Put me in a place where I will be shielded from my weakness.â??  God knows my weakness better than I do, so I guess He keeps me away from jobs where I will be tempted.â?�

 

Have you ever been to the point where you felt that you were ready to give up?
â??No and I thank God for that.  Iâ??ve been through a lot of rough times.  I lost a daughter and she was only 6 months old when she died. She died in my arms.  I think for a parent, thatâ??s really tough.  I thought I was going to die when that happened, but I donâ??t think Iâ??ve ever gotten to a point of despair where I actually said that maybe itâ??s time to end it all.â?�

If anyone is nearly at the point of giving up, what advice can you offer?
â??The only real hope that we can find is in God.  Thereâ??s hope in no one else.  Being assured of our eternal destiny is the ultimate hope. The Bible calls it a living hope.  The Bible calls it a hope that is certain.  Hebrews 11:1 says faith is being sure of what we hope for and being certain of what we cannot see.  The Bible says that we have a hope that is sure.

â??The kind of hope that this world knows is a hope thatâ??s like a wish.  You know, â??I hope this happens, I hope things turn out well.â??  Our hope is not like that. Our hope is sure.  Of course we donâ??t see all of it now.   Many times you donâ??t even see how itâ??s going to work itself out.  But our hope is not in how events in the future will take place.  Our hope is in The One who controls the future.  We have a hope in the Living God and if we really believe He exists, and He is who He says He is, and we have that faith in Him, then our hope is sure.

â??Sometimes people do get to the point where theyâ??re at the end of themselves and you know what, itâ??s not all bad news. Jesus Christ said in Matthew 5, â??Blessed are the poor in the Spirit.â??  The word â??poorâ?� there in Greek is ptochos.  It means beggarly poor, somebody who is absolutely bereft of any ability to support himself.  When that happens to you thatâ??s actually a good point to start.  I know that you may not know how things will turn out. You may not know whether this problem that you have is something that you can manage.  You donâ??t know that.  You canâ??t control that.  But there is a person, there is a God who can and our hope is in Him.â?� 

Do you feel dizzy or short of breath?  Are you having headaches?  Do you feel pressure on the nape of your neck?  These are some of the symptoms of high blood pressure, otherwise known as hypertension.  Hypertension has been labeled  â??the silent killer,â?�  because it typically develops without a single symptom.  Hypertension can affect people of all ages . It increases the risk of serious health problems such as heart attacks and damage to critical organs.

The heart pumps about 60 to 80 times per minute under normal conditions. When you are healthy, your heartâ??s arteries are muscular and elastic.  Arteries stretch and pump depending on how much force your blood exerts.  A personâ??s blood pressure can change minute to minute.  But it should normally be less than 120/80 mm Hg, depending on your age.  The top number represents the pressure when heart is beating, while the lower number represents the pressure when the heart is resting in between beats.  The only way to detect if you have hypertension is to have your blood pressure checked.

Eating a lot of salt can play a major role in the development of hypertension because increased amounts of sodium (salt) in the bloodstream causes pressure within the blood vessel walls.  High blood pressure is also associated with age, obesity, dietary habits, heredity, and kidney failure.  Research also suggests that sleep apnea is a common unrecognized cause of hypertension.

 

Uncontrolled high blood pressure can cause strokes, which can lead to brain damage.  Strokes are usually due to a blood hemorrhage or a blood clot in a vessel that supplies blood to the brain.  This can cause paralysis of the arms or legs and difficulties with speech and vision.

The best prevention for hypertension is less salt intake, regular exercise, reducing alcohol or coffee intake, and avoiding smoking.  Overall lifestyle choices can help individuals aware of their condition to take the necessary preventions to lower their blood pressure.  If you are put on blood pressure medication, TAKE it. Blood pressure meds are not optional.  They are not something to take once in awhile.  Follow your doctorâ??s orders.  It is much more costly to have a stroke than it is to pay for blood pressure medicine.  Think ahead and be smart!

1 big ampalaya (Bitter Gourd)1 clove garlic, minced
1 medium onion, chopped
3 medium tomatoes, seeded and chopped
2 T tausi (salted black beans)
Tofu, cut into strips
200 grams chicken strips or beef sirloin strips or fish fillet
50-100 grams shrimp, shelled (optional)
Chicken or Shrimp bouillon dissolved in 1 cup water
All purpose flour
Salt
Pepper
Cooking oil, preferably Canola
2 T cornstarch dissolved in 3 T water

Scrub and wash ampalaya thoroughly.  Cut lengthwise, remove seeds then slice diagonally into thin strips.  In a deep pan, boil about 3 cups water with lots of salt.  While boiling, add ampalaya strips.  Do not stir.

Bring to a quick boil.  You may gently soak ampalaya by pressing with a spatula.  As soon as it boils, turn the stove off and drain.  Rinse ampalaya immediately with cold water to preserve its crispness (I use water from the fridge).  Drain and set aside.

Heat skillet over medium heat.  Put cooking oil for frying.  In a brown bag, mix all purpose flour with a little salt and ground pepper.  Put chicken or sirloin strips or fish fillet in the flour mixture.  Close brown bag then shake to coat pieces of meat or fish with the flour mixture.  Fry until golden. Set aside.  Fry tofu until lightly brown. Set aside.

In the same pan, leave only about 2 tablespoons oil. Saute garlic.  Do not brown.  Add onion and tomatoes. Simmer, then add shrimp.  Add salted black beans.  Cover and simmer over low heat. Add chicken or shrimp bouillon mixture.

Boil, then add ampalaya, tofu, and fried strips or fillet and bring to a quick boil over high heat.  Add cornstarch dissolved in little water while stirring constantly to thicken. Serve hot with rice.

At 29, I was having the time of my life!  I was driving my own car, bought with my own hard-earned money and working for a reputable and booming local bank.  I was assisting the department head and the group head in the management of bank assets.  It was the job of my dreams â?? being involved in the management of a countrywide acquired asset and bank-owned portfolio.  Without complaint, I drove through heavy traffic along EDSA Monday to Friday, week after week.  I was always excited to go to work.  I didnâ??t consider myself a workaholic, but the challenge of negotiating and packaging the bankâ??s first joint venture project to develop a non-performing real asset into a residential subdivision, and being with well-known figures in the industry boosted my hunger for the real game.

 

Heavily pregnant with my first child, I even took a business trip to Hong Kong.  I remember the ground crew asking for a waiver from my attending physician since they didnâ??t want sorry mothers to come running to their office if something went wrong during the flight.  I handed in the waiver, braved the risk, boarded the plane and headed to Hong Kong.  â??I have to take this trip,â?�  I told myself,  â??Perhaps this trip will open up another door of opportunity.â?�  I was right.  Just a few months after giving birth, I found myself laying the groundwork for another prime project.  I was home only long enough to see my little baby napping in his room with his yaya.

So many good things were happening with my career.  I found myself sitting in meetings with people almost double my age, the â??moversâ?� of the real estate economy.  But with all that I was able to accomplish at work, I felt sorry that my little baby could not have time with his mommy.  An hour each day is all I had for him.  I told myself that we had the best yaya â?? better than most mommies, having taken care of eight other children before she came to care for my little baby.  Still the thoughts wouldnâ??t stop.  It was as if someone was constantly telling me that my little boy needed his mom.

 

It took some time before I decided to speak to my boss about a possible resignation.  I talked to him just after my immediate superior had resigned and I was appointed Officer-in-Charge of our department.  My boss told me to give myself some time; perhaps I just needed to adjust to my new role at work and my duties at home.  But the thoughts continued to nag me, and I wondered if I could let go of this dream job to take on the not-so-rewarding role of mother.

It took plenty of sleepless nights before I was finally able to let go.  God made me realize that both my work and my child were gifts from Him.  He told me that the company, with its money, could hire anyone to handle their real estate portfolio, but no one could hire another mommy for my only child!  It was a tough decision to make and to hold on to.  Because of the decision, I lost something truly dear, my work.  But, the continuous nagging worries were replaced with peace, and a family was restored.  When I decided to do what was right for my little boy, I may have lost a dream job temporarily, but by Godâ??s grace, my husband and I were gifted with another child.  I am now able to spend time with our two children, work at a paid job at a less demanding pace, and the peace that I have is something money can not buy!  While the look on my childrenâ??s faces is â?? priceless!

The dream job can wait.  What is important is making the right decision at the right time, even when it is hard â?? allowing two children to spend time with their mommy.

I received a phone call from the nanny this afternoon.  â??Kuya, wala na gatas si Baby Jamie mamayang gabi.â?�  As usual, I went to the grocery store after work with a long face.  Along the aisles, there I found infant milk.  To my surprise, there were huge shelves, full of different brands, sizes, in cans, in cartons, with fancy color graphics, and some simple with 2 colors.  I noticed that the more colorful the can, the more expensive it was.

 

As an expert shopaholic, I knew what to buy; I knew the brand.  There were 2 sizes available.  The smaller container of 900 grams cost P600 while the 1600 grams cost P850.  Obviously, the bigger container looked more expensive but my simple mathematical instinct whispered to me, â??bigger container is cheaper!â?�  I got the bigger container.  â??Besides,â?�  I thought,  â??the milk will be consumed and I am just paying for the extra container if I get the smaller one.  I will just postpone buying a new shirt.â?�

As I whistled along those aisles, diapers!  I knew I was running out.  Looking carefully at the sizes of packages I noticed bigger was better, I mean cheaper, and most of all, it was on sale!  I saw some â??bundledâ?� items that were cheaper than getting things individually, but since I didnâ??t need one of the things being offered, I just ignored them!  Yup, I also bought some chicken, fish, ground meat, and vegetables, since they were only a little more expensive than in the market and I could be sure about getting the right weight.

As I stood in line at the cashier, I started looking at my 5 major credit cards.  I wrote down the â??cut off datesâ?� as my guide and made sure to use the date that was recently being â??cut-off â?� for the billing statement.   I will make sure I pay the whole amount when the statement arrives.  I learned my lesson about that from the time I paid only the minimum due and found myself charged with extra interest each month for the shoes I bought!

As I walk out of the mall, I am seeing temptation!  Cell phones on sale!  Gadgets that would look good on me but my cell phone works fine â?? and most of all, itâ??s fully paid!