It was a whirlwind romance. Her parents didnâ??t like him. They thought he had nothing to offer her. His parents didnâ??t like her. They thought she was too old for him. Butâ??they got married anyway.

Up to this time, Fe Salceda had led a simple life. Throughout school, she never had a boyfriend. Focused on finishing her studies, Fe didnâ??t want to get emotionally involved. She graduated Bachelor of Arts in Social Sciences from UP Diliman. When she started working with a government office in her hometown, friends introduced her to her future husband. He was intelligent and came from a prominent and very religious family. In fact, he was a regent, a seminarian who left the seminary before his ordination so that he could decide if he wanted to be a priest or not. She was 27 years old, he was 20.

After their marriage, Fe became the breadwinner. Her new husband became a drunkard; he smoked, gambled, and came home late at night. Fe was so disappointed; she had waited such a long time for the right man to come along.

When Fe gave birth to their first child, they moved to her parentsâ?? house. Her parents took care of their baby while she worked. From time to time, her husband would ask his parents for money but then he spent it on himself. Two weeks after Fe gave birth to their second child, a son, her husband went to Manila to find a job. Fe was hopeful. She regularly sent him money, even after he found a job with a pharmaceutical company, but, she sensed something was wrong. She did not hear from him. Finally, her in-laws told her that her husband was having an affair. â??He was living with his cousin in Manila and I went there and investigated. His cousin confirmed the news. After only 3 years of marriage, we decided to separate. I was devastated, and so ashamed to face my officemates that I quit my job. I didnâ??t know what to do or what to tell them.â?�

Fe needed an outlet for her emotions, so she started going to a medium. She thought it was OK because her mother, some priests and nuns, government officials, high ranking military officers, teachers and other professionals went as well. The medium had a Bible, too. â??During this time, my husband continued to have affairs with different women. He had a total of 18 children. When he brought a mistress to his parentâ??s house to stay, my hatred doubled and I cursed him. I cursed his parents and the place where he was born.â?�

Eventually, Fe became the mediumâ??s right hand. She and her two children even went to live with the group, but the deeper she got involved with the organization, the more confused she became. Meanwhile, two of the group members left also and became Born Again. These two began to pray for Fe. Fe finally realized her association with this medium was not providing the solution to her problem. She was still filled with hate for her husband and his family. Disillusioned, Fe mustered courage and went to Manila to look for a job.

In Manila, Feâ??s friendâ??s family encouraged her to listen to a Christian broadcast. She listened regularly and prayed with them. A deep hunger to know God began to grow in her heart. Then, Fe was invited to a church where the speaker talked about how she, herself, was able to forgive her husbandâ??s unfaithfulness.

We all look forward to the Christmas season. But, not everyone knows the reason for the seasonâ?Šwhy we exchange gifts and celebrate. We know that Jesus was born, but we understand only vaguely why He was born. Jesusâ?? birth is the expression of Godâ??s love for us, our Fatherâ??s way of forgiving us. In return, our Father also expects us to forgive others. If you find it hardâ?Šask Him. Heâ??ll help.

Fe says, â??I learned that forgiveness is a matter of choice, and forgetting is a process. I was able to forgive, but I still felt the pain. I accepted Christ as my Savior. At the same time, I felt the Lordâ??s call on my life. He was directing me to return to Bicol to minister. I bargained with Him I said, â??Lord, let Your will and not my will be done. But You have to take care of my children.â?? Back in Bicol, I convinced the people in my old group to join me in my new faith. Eventually, I became a pastor myself but I was still hurting. The time came when the Lord called me to pastor in my husbandâ??s hometown. I remembered then, that I had cursed my husband, his family and his hometown. I found the pastor in that town and asked for forgiveness. The pastor also asked for my forgiveness on behalf of my husband. It was then that the Lord really healed me. I felt so different; I had a deep sense of peace. â??Years later, when my husband passed away, my children and I went to his wake. His relatives were there. His other children were there but there was no pain, no hurt. I was completely healed.â?�

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We all look forward to the Christmas season. But, not everyone knows the reason for the seasonâ?Š why we exchange gifts and celebrate. We know that Jesus was born, but we understand only vaguely why He was born. Jesusâ?? birth is the expression of Godâ??s love for us, our Fatherâ??s way of forgiving us. In return, our Father also expects us to forgive others. If you find it hardâ?Šask Him. Heâ??ll help.

Dory Tamayo, serves as administrator and also teaches at Sophia Learning Center, a private kinder and prep school. Dory is a wife, and the mother of three. This is her story of forgiveness and transformation.

At seventeen, Dory, as she is fondly called by her family and friends, was pretty and full of dreams for her future.

She never imagined settling down at an early age, or abandoning her goal of getting a college education. As a teenager, Dory refused to get involved in any romantic relationships because she had so many ambitions she wanted to fulfill. Unfortunately, however, Doryâ??s life didnâ??t turn out the way she hoped. Dory couldnâ??t forgive the man who ruined her plans. In her attempts to take revenge, she ended up hurting herself.

The night her life changed forever
Dory vividly recalls the night, January 21, so many years ago when she and her friends had been out bowling. It was almost midnight when her friends left her alone to take a tricycle home. They wanted to wait until she could get a ride, but she assured them she would be all right. After her friends left, a man, who had been her unwanted but persistent suitor, approached her. She had not noticed him sitting in a parked car with a friend, apparently waiting for her to arrive. Dory had never liked this man. She always hid from him, and changed her route home if he tried to follow her from school. But this time, she had no other choice. She couldnâ??t hide in an empty road in the middle of a cold and quiet night. Persistent as always, the man asked her over and over to allow him to give her a ride home. She kept resisting. Finally, an hour later, he approached her again. This time, instead of talking, he thrust a hanky into her face, and â?Š that is the last thing she remembers.

Hours later, Dory woke up and found herself in a quiet room in the house of her suitorâ??s sister-in-law. Fury overcame her as she realized that she had been raped. The manâ??s family eagerly assured her that she didnâ??t need to worry, the man would marry her. Since Dory had never liked the guy, his recent treatment of her only caused the dislike to change to hatred. She did not see marriage to him as a desirable option. Instead she insisted on going home and threatened to sue both the man and his relatives for being his accomplices. Escaping from the house, she met two women on their way to the pier who were kind enough to show her how to reach home. It was almost morning when Dory arrived at her place, hoping her parents would provide comfort and safety. Instead, when she learned what happened, Doryâ??s mother insisted that Dory had to marry the guy to avoid shame and scandal for the family.

Even after this trauma, Dory decided to attend her college classes. As she got near her house on her return from school, she noticed that her family had guests, and there seemed to be a lot of festivity. When she walked into the house, she was surprised to see many influential people as well as her suitor and his family. They insisted that Dory had to marry their son. Both families and all these witnesses promised that everything that happened between the two of them would be kept a secret. Though she tried to resist, Dory knew it was futile. In her family, the parents made all the decisions.

An unhappy marriage
Everything happened very fast. In less than a month, Dory and the man who had raped her were married. For the man, it seemed like his dream had come true; for Dory, it was the beginning of a life of misery. On their wedding night Dory picked up a knife and warned him, â??If you ever touch me again, Iâ??ll make sure one of us will be dead.â?� She also promised to make his life hell on earth. Dory may not have had the power to resist her parents, especially after they found out she was pregnant, but she certainly kept her promise of making her husbandâ??s life hell. Her bitterness grew. All her dreams seemed unattainable because, like it or not, she was married.

During the early months of her marriage, Dory finished her studies and worked part time. She often stayed at her parentâ??s house and seldom saw her husband. In addition to being furious with her husband, she blamed herself because she had not fought for her rights and gone against the will of her parents. She hated her mother for forcing her to get married. Dory felt unclean, worthless and full of regret. Secretly she tried to lose the baby in her womb, but she didnâ??t succeed. Nine months later she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Sadly, her rage towards her husband prevented her from feeling any love for her new born son. After his birth, Dory left the apartment she had shared with her husband and permanently returned to her parentâ??s home. Her mother shouldered all the responsibility of being a mother to Doryâ??s son. Meanwhile, Dory worked on fulfilling her promise of making life miserable for her husband. Quarrels and fights between them escalated to physical abuse. Dory took revenge by having relationships with other men and flaunting them. Finally, when their son turned 7, Dory decided to file for annulment. The annulment was granted, first by the church, and then by the Philippine courts.

Power to forgive
Sometime after Doryâ??s annulment was finalized, the mother of one of her boyfriends told Dory she was sinning by having a relationship with her married son, even though her son was separated from his wife. She invited Dory to church. When Dory went, she suspected that her boyfriendâ??s mom had told the pastor all about the situation, and that his message was crafted just for her. Although she did not commit to that church at first, something kept drawing her back. When the church people invited her to a Personal Wholeness Seminar, she went. â??After all,â?� she reasoned, â??itâ??s about wholeness,â?� and she felt so broken and dirty. It was a life changing seminar in which she discovered her own worth and Godâ??s love for her. Eventually Dory fully surrendered her life to God. She was finally able to cry and release all the pain, anger and bitterness in her heart. She learned that since God was able to love her and forgive her she needed to release forgiveness to the people who had wronged her.

Doryâ??s life has never been the same. She returned home with a repentant heart. She asked for forgiveness from her son, after explaining to him why everything had happened, and he forgave her. Her son, who still had a relationship with his father, told his dad that Dory forgave him. Dory was also able to forgive her mother and ask for forgiveness from her as well.

A happy ending
As God loves to do, He has taken Doryâ??s pain and used her experiences to enable her to help many people. After going through the wholeness program at church, Dory became a member of the Executive Committee and the Events Coordinator for the independent church. With her pastorâ??s approval, she left that church and moved to one closer to her home. She was involved with their womenâ??s ministry. She also became the president of the Womenâ??s Department in this church. There, she introduced different outreach programs and started a medical-dental outreach with the help of people she knew who had connections with the local government. She has been able to train potential leaders in her present church, and she established and became President of a cooperative. She also gives livelihood seminars.

On a personal level, Dory finished a Bachelor of Science in Commerce, Major in Marketing Management. After working with a company as head of purchasing, she took advantage of the early retirement offer and put up her own hardware business with the benefits she received. She finished a second degree, a BS in Elem. Education. God has also greatly blessed Dory in her personal life. In addition, her relationship with her oldest son is totally restored. He is now married, and has a beautiful daughter.

Dory believes that forgiveness is like a medicine, â??You have to take it, because if you will not take it, it will not take effect.â?�

Christmas! Filipinos look forward to family reunions. Days get hectic. There are parties left and right. It is hard to stick to an exercise program with unpredictable schedules. For dieters, the will power to watch their weight seems to weaken. Staying fit in this season of celebration may be challenging, but here are some tips that may help.

• Maintain your regular exercise program by organizing your schedule the evening before. Lay out your clothes for exercise and your clothes for going to work later. Then, start exercising as soon as you get up.
  
  
• If you happen to have a tight schedule, choose to do quick exercises like squats, pushups, crunches, or jump rope for 10-15 minutes. Use weights, (can substitute water bottles) for lateral exercises or overhead presses.
  
  
• Alternate your workout schedule with swimming, jogging, badminton, basketball and other sports. Mixing these sports with your exercise program can avoid boredom.
  
  
• Combine family commitments with physical activity. Go Christmas caroling, play games that require physical activity, take the family for a stroll to view the Christmas decorations or plan a general house cleaning.
  
  
• Instead of taking a ride, walk as much as possible. Go for an extra lap at the mall when shopping, and park your car further away than usual. Take a brisk walk during lunch hour.
  
  
• Finding time to exercise may help ease holiday stress and burn off some of the extra calories.

Pasta with Fresh Tomatoes, Eggplant and Chicken

Ingredients:

• ÂŒ k spaghetti noodles, cooked according to package directions
• 1 big clove garlic, peeled and minced
• Âœ k tomatoes, seeded and chopped
• 1 T fish sauce (patis), optional
• 2 medium eggplants, cut into 1 Âœâ?� strips
• Fresh or dried herbs (italian or basil or oregano or thyme)
• Olive oil
• Fresh basil leaves
• 1 c grilled or barbecued chicken, cut into morsels
• Grated parmesan cheese

Procedure: In a big skillet, heat olive oil over medium heat. Fry eggplant. Set aside. Add garlic. Do not brown. Add tomatoes and fish sauce. Simmer until tomatoes are cooked. Add your preferred herbs. Remove from heat. Add cooked spaghetti noodles and eggplant. Mix well. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Put in 4 individual plates. Top with chicken morsels and grated Parmesan cheese. Garnish with fresh basil leaves.


Fresh Fruit Salad

Ingredients:

• Apples
• Lacatan bananas
• Ripe papaya
• Ripe mangoes
• Ripe avocados
• 1 cup of fresh orange juice

Procedure: Wash fruits with soap and water. Rinse well with drinking water. Dry. Core and cut unpeeled apples into chunks. Soak in orange juice. Spoon out and put in a deep bowl (punch bowl will do). Peel and cut bananas and avocado into chunks. Soak in orange juice. Add to the punch bowl. Peel papaya and mangoes. Cut into chunks and add to your bowl. Toss well and chill before serving. You may add grapes and honey if you want.

Ah yes! Christmas time is here once again. Are you excited? For those of us who are employed, one word associated with Christmas truly excites us! That word is bonus. Yes my friends, Christmas time is here and with it comes the anticipation of receiving our Christmas bonuses.

One thing we should remember is that although we can buy some special things with our Christmas bonus, there is a limit to how much we can get. Advertisers know all too well about the real purchasing power of the public. This is why they compete with each other. They think of creative ways to make us buy things that we usually donâ??t need. Often we are enticed into a trap of unwise buying, only to realize too late that we have spent our money on something that has little or no real worth.

I was lured into this trap once. I splurged and spent my entire Christmas bonus on myself. In the end, I felt empty and lonely. Having new things like a cell phone or a new pair of shoes will make us happy at first, but we will eventually realize that feeling of happiness is only a temporary experience. Sooner or later, we will crave another purchase fix. If our happiness is based on material possessions, we will spend a lot of money, only to find out in the end that this kind of happiness is artificial. If we are ensnared into this kind of trap we risk spending a meaningless Christmas and worse, living a meaningless life.

Fortunately, there are ways to spend our Christmas bonus that may be more beneficial than what the advertisers suggest. For one thing, we could save some of it. To save so that we will have resources in times of future need is a very practical thing to do. Especially in these times of economic uncertainty, we should be prepared for whatever the future might bring.

A different productive way of spending your Christmas bonus is to invest in business. In recent years, a lot of people have invested in small businesses to make extra income. Did you know that putting up a business is a biblical concept? Remember the parable of the 5 talents? The master rewarded those servants who invested their money in business when he came back. Today there are a lot of ways to invest money into small businesses such as direct selling cosmetics or clothes, different forms of legitimate multi-level marketing, or starting a variety store at home.

Another alternative is to share your bonus with people around you. As the old saying goes â??it is more blessed to give than to receive.â?� Giving gifts has a positive impact in relationship development. It reflects how much you appreciate your relationship with the recipient. Usually, it doesnâ??t really matter if the gift is expensive or not, as people often say, â??it is the thought that counts.â?� Just keep in mind that what you give should truly benefit the receiver.

Giving gifts to people you know allows you to see the positive effect it has on them, but imagine the impact you could have if you give to people you do not know, especially the needy. God instructed us to â??give to the least of these.â?? There are a lot of ways where you can show your love and compassion for the less privileged during Christmas. You could sponsor a child in a Non Government Organization, or give a donation to Church programs that cater to the poor. I suggest that you try to be present during the actual distribution. It could be one of those meaningful experiences where you will discover that life is bigger than just you.

It is true that everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial. Where you allot your Christmas bonus can either be a meaningful experience, or a wasteful experience. Iâ??m not saying that we should not enjoy the fruits of our labor. That is putting it to another extreme. All Iâ??m saying is that our spending will be more significant and beneficial for us if we think of others as well as ourselves. Letâ??s be smart and avoid the trap of being materialistic. We celebrate Christmas because â??God so loved the world that He gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will never perish but have everlasting life.â?�(John 3:16) Isnâ??t it high time that we practice giving as well?