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How to deal with in-laws who spoil your children?

Writer: Asia Pacific MediaAsia Pacific Media

By Peter Banzon

I’m trying to discipline my children but my in-laws are spoiling them.  I want to talk to them about this but I don’t want to hurt their feelings because we are living in their house and they are also helping us financially.

Disciplining your children is a very important responsibility given to parents by God.  Discipline helps mold our children’s behavior and contribute to their maturity.  Your in-laws may spoil your kids by unknowingly contradicting the rules of behavior you have set for them.  They can overindulge your kids with gifts and material things or reward for them for wrong behavior.  This will send mixed signals and confuse your children.  If your in-laws (grandparents, uncles or aunts) are spoiling your children, you must be courageous and talk sensibly with them for your children’s sake.  Of course you appreciate your in-laws’ help and they have a right to be involved in your children’s life but they must understand that they are undermining your authority when they spoil your kids.

  1. Talk to them about the situation. Do this prayerfully, calmly and objectively.

  1. Enlist your in-laws’ help so they can affirm your authority in the sight of your children. Ask them to work with you with the best interest of the children in mind.

  1. Appreciate them for being part of a team with a common goal in mind – loving your kids and seeing them grow up to be the kind of people God wants them to be!

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